I have an interesting relationship with water.  When I was having my health issues earlier in the year, one of the first things they thought might be an issue was congestive heart failure.  As it turned out, that wasn’t it, but it was still a scary diagnosis.  You can live with CHF but one of the things it does is cause you to retain fluid.  When I was having issues I gained about 30 pounds of water weight.  It was an awful feeling.

After we got things back on track one of the things I was told was to monitor and restrict my fluid intake.  I had always been a person who drank large amounts of water and always had water with me, but I took the doctors at their word and started trying to cut back.   After all, if my body wasn’t back to full efficiency at eliminating fluids yet, I didn’t want to add to it’s burden.

Fast forward six months.  My heart is healthy and functioning perfectly.  I’m losing weight.  I’m exercising almost every day and doing increasingly more demanding work outs.  I’m also still restricting my fluid intake.

One thing you have to understand about me is I’m not one of those women who gets dewy or glows when she sweats.  When I sweat I soak my t-shirt.  After a good hard session of exercise, I’m dripping wet.  I started noticing that after a strenuous session I’d feel crappy the next day.  Nauseous, light headed, just not well.  Finally the penny dropped.  I was exercising and losing a lot of fluid and not replacing it as I was restricting fluid intake.  Completely unintentionally, I was dehydrating myself.

For those of you who may not, as I did not, know the signs of dehydration, I’ve included the following list of common symptoms.  If you experience these symptoms, get some fluid into your system and see if you feel better.

• Abnormal Thirst
• Dry skin
• Flushed Skin
• Dry Mouth
• Fatigue or Weakness
• Chills
• Head Rushes
• Nausea

If you experience any of these symptoms, get some fluids in your system.  Avoid caffeine and sugary drinks.  Rehydrate with water or a sports drink like Gatorade.

I am not a creature of moderation.  Over the years I’ve learned that I can become obsessive really easily.  When I embarked on this weight loss journey, I made a promise to myself that there were a few things I would not do.  One, I wouldn’t weigh myself all the time and live and die by whether or not I’ve lost or gained a pound.  So far I’ve managed to keep to that resolution fairly well.  Two, I wouldn’t become obsessive about “good” and “bad” foods.  I’d try to eat sensibly but allow myself a few treats as well.  I’ve done fairly well with that resolution as well.  I don’t beat myself up when I eat something I shouldn’t, and I manage to eat fairly well the majority of the time.

My third resolution is the one that’s giving me trouble.  I also resolved that I wouldn’t push my body to the breaking point with exercise.  I seem to have two speeds when it comes to exercise, sloth and train like you’re planning to run a marathon tomorrow.  I want to feel the burn, because to me that feels like I’ve accomplished something.  The only problem is my body isn’t ready for that yet, and I tend to push things too far.

My body is still adjusting to a lot of things.  I’ve lost 35 pounds.  I’m taking a lot of new medications and some significantly higher doses of a few old ones.  I’m eating in a whole new way, and I’m taking in fewer calories.  I’ve also upped my physical exertion quite a bit.  The combination is tending to throw my body into a tailspin.  It hasn’t quite learned how to handle things yet.

I also tend to overexercise because that helps my stress level and my heart rate.  If I exercise to the point of exhaustion, I’m too tired to worry about what my heart is doing.  Being tired also means I don’t have the energy to be stressed and thus my heart rate tends to stay lower.  The only problem is that I pay for the over exertion the next day.

What I’d like to do is find a happy medium.  I want to continue to lose weight.  I want to get a good workout and reduce stress.  I’d like to work all my muscles, including my heart so they function efficiently.  I’d also like to manage all that without feeling as though I’ve been pummelled.  I’m just not sure how to do that yet.

How do you exercise with moderation and still ensure you’re getting a good workout? I don’t want to baby myself, but I don’t want to push myself to the absolute limit either.  If anyone has any suggestions, I would really appreciate them.   At this point I could use a little help.

It is always fun to discover that you have a new reader, and even more fun when the reader passes along some blog love to you.  That’s what happened to me today.  DeeBee at Rain or Shine gifted this blog with the “I Love Your Blog” Award.  I’m very touched and grateful as I’ve been having some days lately where I wondered if anyone was reading.  It’s nice to know that people are, and that they like what they read.

According to the rules I have to link to DeeBee’s blog which I have done.  There are also some questions I’m meant to answer, and then I’m supposed to pass the award to seven other bloggers.  Given that this blog is still relatively new, I will probably hold off on passing the award on for now.  I will, however, answer the questions.

1. Where is your cell phone? Kitchen Counter
2. Where is your significant other? Non existent at the moment
3. Your hair color? Strawberry blonde
4. Your mother? In Heaven
5. Your father? Fishing
6. Your favorite thing? Books
7. Your dream last night? Not memorable
8. Your dream/goal? Fitness
9. The room you’re in? Living Room
10. Your hobby? Reading/computer
11. Your fear? Loneliness
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? thinner, in love and wealthier
13. Where were you last night? Here
14. What you’re not? Negative
15. One of your wish-list items? a library
16. Where you grew up? Michigan
17. The last thing you did? blog post
18. What are you wearing? button down shirt, t-shirt, sweats
19. Your TV? annoying
20. Your pet? none at present
21. Your computer? Dell
22. Your mood? positive
23. Missing someone? Mom
24. Your car? Saturn
25. Something you’re not wearing? socks
26. Favorite store? Borders
27. Your summer? humid
28. Love someone? Myself
29. Your favorite color? Purple
30. When is the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? yesterday

Thanks again, DeeBee.  I really appreciate the positive words and the support.  It means a lot.

Lately, just as I have been slacking on writing for this blog, I’ve also been slacking off when it comes to exercise.  I  know all the benefits of exercise, but I go through periods where I just don’t want to do it. Sometimes I have a tendency to avoid doing what’s best for me, even when I know it’s what I should do.

The problem is that when I don’t exercise I tend to be a lot more tense.  Carrying more tension tends to make my heart rate go up which tends to make me more tense and suddenly I’m in a vicious cycle of rising heart rate and stress.  I know that stress is bad for my heart.  I know it causes my heart rate to increase.  Since I’m much happier if my heart rate stays steady and solid, it’s in my best interest to make sure I carry as little stress as possible.  Exercise is one way to accomplish that.

Today I was very stressed.  Yesterday I felt the same way, but I didn’t exercise when I came home.  I ended up taking a Xanax to calm down, something I try to avoid.  Today I decided to try a different tack.  I did two things that I think really made a difference.

The first thing I did was let some of frustration with the situation and myself out.  I came home and beat on the bed with a pillow and made some noise.  Part of the problem with being frustrated is you feel like you can’t let it out.  I allowed it out and expressed it, which seems to help make it go away.

The second thing I did was exercise.  I did a very challenging tape that left me feeling drained by the end of it.  Focusing on the exercise and working up a good sweat also left me feeling more relaxed and less stressed.  It took a bit, but gradually my heart rate started coming down.  I also noticed that I felt more up beat and happy and relaxed.

Clearly, exercise can help me be less tense and more in control.  I need to make sure that some form of exercise is part of my daily routine.  The benefits of making exercise a daily thing are quite evident.  Not only does it help me be less stressed and keep my heart rate steady, it also helps me lose weight and increase my fitness level.  With all those benefits, why wouldn’t I exercise every day?

That question is probably a subject for another post.

I’m naturally a pretty tense person.  I tend to worry a bit too much and take things to heart a bit too much and obsess a bit too much.  I’m working on all those things and I have gotten much better, but I still probably carry more tension than the average person.  It’s just how I am.

In the old days my stress buster was food.  If I was feeling sad or mad or really feeling anything at all, I’d eat something, and generally a lot of something.  While this didn’t do anything or my health or my weight, it did, at least temporarily, help me feel less stressed.  The problem became that, like any drug, it took more food to do the job.  Plus not just any food would do.  Carrots didn’t make me feel less stressed.  Chips and dip did.  It clearly was a recipe for disaster.

Since I’ve been working on getting thinner and healthier, I’ve also had to work on finding new ways to defuse stress.  One way is to just try to take things less seriously and less to heart.  The more easy going I become about things, the more fun my life becomes.  I’ve also come to the realization that I tend to make mountains out of molehills at times.  A lot of the things I worry about never happen.  A lot of what I fear never comes true.  If I just stop worrying, I save myself a lot of stress and a lot of time.  It sounds cliche but it’s really true.  Whatever will be, will be.  Worrying won’t change things.

Another stress buster that really works is exercise.  If I’m feeling mad I’ll come home and do some boxing and a hard driving aerobic tape.  If I’ve been sitting for quite a while, I’m come home and do some jogging.  If I’m feeling down I’ll do a dancy, up beat tape.  That usually lifts my spirits.  Exercise relaxes me and helps me deal with stress.  After I’m done with my workout, I may feel tired, but I also feel relaxed.  I’m usually also better able to put whatever was worrying me into perspective.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to say that I love exercise, but I certainly have learned to appreciate it’s benefits.  In addition to a healthier body and stronger muscles, it also helps me manage stress.  I can’t really ask for more than that.

I have to confess that I’m probably never going to love exercise.  I want to love it.  I want to eager to exercise.  Most of the time, however, I’m not.  While I know it is good for me to move and I really do feel the benefits, I still have to force myself to exercise and often want to quit halfway through.  As much as I want to become a fitness junkie, a lot of me is happier curled up on the couch with a blanket, a cup of tea and a book or my laptop.

As motivation to keep exercising I thought I list some of the reasons why exercise is a good idea.  That way, when I’m feeling like I would rather not sweat on any given day I can come to this post and read all the reasons why sweating, whether I want to or not, is a good idea.

Reason #1:  Exercise helps with stress – I tend to be a worrier and I stress myself out a lot.  Exercise helps me relax and get rid of some of the tension that drives up my heart rate and cuts into my sleep.

Reason #2:  Exercise helps me lose weight – Exercise helps me burn calories, and the more calories I burn, the more weight I lose.  It’s that simple.

Reason #3:  Exercise helps me sleep – I’m not a good sleeper, never have been.  Exercise helps me relax and sleep better and more deeply.

Reason #4:  Exercise allows me to eat more and more of what I want – I’m trying to watch salt and fat and sugar.  If I didn’t exercise I’d be reduced to eating cottage cheese and a lettuce leaf, which doesn’t, at least to me, sound very appetizing.  Exercise allows me to eat more calories, and reasonable portions of more of the foods that I like.

Reason #5:  Exercise helps me build the body I want – I actually have muscles now.  I also have more endurance.  Exercise helped me achieve both those things.

Reason #6:  Exercise helps my heart – Cute Cardiologist tells me that exercise has already improved my heart function.  The heart is a muscle.  It benefits from exercise just like any other muscle.

Reason #7: Exercise helps my mood – I’m prone to down days and black moods on occasion.  Exercise does create endorphins and endorphins help keep my moods on the upswing.

Reason #8: Exercise makes my clothes fit (or not fit) - When you’re a larger size you never feel like you look good in your clothing.  Since I’ve been losing weight, I feel like I look better in my clothes.  Things aren’t so tight or uncomfortable.  I can wear something that reflects the shape of my body without feeling silly.

So there it is, 8 reasons to exercise when I don’t feel like doing so.  I could probably come up with a lot more, but in this case, I think I’ll say that 8 is enough.

Finding food I want to eat has become sort of an issue.  I’m starting to resent people who appear to be able to eat whatever they want without thinking about how much salt or fat or sugar it has.  I want to give in to the urge to stop on the way home and pick up some take out without wondering if it will entirely ruin my diet.  Plotting and planning what I will eat and when I will eat it is starting to get old.

I’m also finding that I tend to rely on a few tried and true recipes that I know are good for me and I know will be something I’ll like to eat.  The problem with trying new recipes is that they sound good on paper, but they don’t always taste as good as they sound.  So, every time I buy special ingredients for a recipe new recipe and it doesn’t turn out or I don’t enjoy it, I’ve wasted time and money I didn’t really have to waste.

I know that this new diet is better for me.  I feel better, I’m losing weight, I sleep better and my blood sugar is much more steady.  Clearly this eating plan has a lot of benefits.  It does, however, require a lot more planning and thought.

I should also probably consider the idea that I’m being a bit too rigid.  The world will not end if I have fast food.  One fast food meal or slice of pizza or wrap from the local sandwich place most likely won’t cause the world to end.  I guess, since I’m having some success, I want to be extra vigilant and ensure that I don’t backslide into my old ways.  I know how easy it is to justify eating something simply because it’s easy or because it satisfies a craving.  I don’t want to go back to that mode.  Mindful eating works so much better.  It just requires a lot more thought.

For now, I’m going to start researching and trying new recipes.  That may mean that I waste a bit of money and/or time, but it should also mean that I add some additional meals to my food plan.  I’m hoping that adding some additional recipes will help me on the days when all I really want to do is order a Meat Lovers Pizza from Pizza Hut.

We’ll see how that goes.